The Coca-Cola and Pepsi Dilemma

So how many times have you been in a bar, restaurant or any such establishment that serves food to a table? First you wait to be seated unless you are rude and just walk in and sit down causing chaos for all of the poor waiters and waitresses who do not have a clue that you have sat down whilst you moan at the poor service.

 

Anyway, you wait to be seated. The girl gives you a smile as she collects the menus and you follow her to the table or booth where you take a moment to gather yourself, determine the proximity of the table to the door to ensure that no gust of wind may take you through the unsuspecting shivers every time the door opens or whether a screaming child sat on the table next to you or behind, pretty much in the hearing vicinity. All is clear; all is well so you take your seat. The waitress places the menu down still with a cheery smile and repeats the specials that she so well rehearsed this morning before asking if you would like a drink.

 

You answer, "Coke please?" Maybe you are wordier than I am and go for "Can I have a Coke please?" It is probably a matter of mood. But yet comes the reply; "Is Pepsi okay?" You are horrified; you are definitely a Coke sort of guy or gal. The thought of being disloyal to the cheery Christmas Santa that you love so much in that advert sickens you to your core. The betrayal, the outrage and the guilt overwhelm you until you say: "yea that will be fine." Words induced by panic, an off the cuff response to that cheery smile that you didn't want to disrupt, she walks away with a little skip in her step happy that the world is happy with Pepsi. But then you sit there worrying; worrying about the syrupy concoction that she will return with.

 

You only wanted a Coke, you did not specify what type; Coca-Cola or Pepsi. If she said nothing than it would have arrived in a glass and looked like a Coke. You would not have cared if you were sipping down the black liquid whether dressed in a red or blue label. But now you know it is not the one you wanted. You are red until you die, a Coca-Cola man through and through and no matter if the Pepsi that is brought to you is the most perfect Pepsi ever made it will not be good enough, it will not be the same, it would not be what you wanted. You are disappointed and upset that you are not getting what you ordered.

 

If you had ordered a vegetarian burger and been told they are all out but will a beef burger do what would you do? It looks the same. It comes in a bun. It has a bit of lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise. There are Chips to accompany it. However, it is not the same and nor is Coca-Cola and Pepsi. They are different beverages. They are fierce rivals. So do not offer me the other one when I wanted the other. I would rather have a Sprite than a Pepsi. I would rather have a Pepsi Max than a Coke Zero. It is just the way the cookie crumbles for me.

 

The last time this dilemma presented itself this is what happened:

Me: "Can I have a Coke please?"

Waitress: "Is Pepsi okay?"

Me: "Can I pay with Monopoly money?"

 

I should stress that it was said in a playful, jovial manner and with no insult to the girl who was a delight all meal long. But what will you now say when presented with such a 1st world crisis?