So Mr Robin Thicke’s song, Blurred Lines, has been banned by
the TV slash advertising people who have said the video cannot be shown before
7:30pm. Too right I say. Mr Thicke has admitted himself that this song was
inspired by the love he has for his wife and by the fact that they still have a
healthy, loving marriage, which includes the physical act of showing how much
they love each other by having sex. How disgusting is that?
Doesn’t Mr Thicke know that no couples have sex when they
get married; instead all that love and passion is left at the alter to be
replaced with complaints of tiredness and headaches forever more from that
moment. I know this was the case with my parents. They never ever had sex after
they got married. How gross would that be? I was delivered by a stalk on the 5th
March 1987; and yes I still do believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny and Mary
Poppins.
So Mr Thicke what were you thinking? Trying to jam a song
about love and marital sex down the throats of the youth of today. Too right it
should be banned. Did you even think of seven year old Little Jessica sitting
there flicking through the channels whilst her parents argue about something
that is not important but still feel the need to hurl expletives at each other?
Little Jessica does not need you and your song about how you and your wife are
living some sort of marital bliss Mr Thicke.
What about Little Jimmy? Did you think of the 10 year old
Little Jimmy? Little Jimmy is from a broken home. His daddy has slept with lots
of women and it is the reason he has been divorced three times. Little Jimmy
still lives with his mum who will never trust a man ever again. Little Jimmy
listens to gangster rap all day long; dreaming of womanising, violence and
using words like “bitch” and “ho” when he grows up. This is what he is used to.
Little Jimmy is currently dancing along to Jason Derulo’s Talk Dirty. Now that is some proper child viewing.
The UK’s universities are at it too Mr Thicke; Edinburgh,
Leeds and a few others have banned you from their student unions. I support
them completely. What self respecting 18 to 21 year old student wants to have
sex in a loving and committed relationship anyway? It is all about free love,
sex with strangers and the spread of diseases for those guys. Why do they want
to know about marital sex? I remember when I was at uni and I was listening to
songs like Kelis’ Milkshake Brings all
the Boys to the Yard and P Diddy’s, Notorious B.I.G’s and Jagged Edge’s Nasty Girl. They were great songs. The
girls could relate to it as they shaked their milk so that all the boys formed
an orderly queue in the yard waiting to taste it.
As for the guys they just
wanted a Nasty Girl; they loved their little Nasty Girl, shaking their titties
for B.I.G. Okay I am going on and on and won't take them to the crib unless they're...oh Diddy you Badboy.
I remember when I got to Freshers week and people at the
university gave me condoms and explained how I was expected to have lots of sex
with lots of girls. It was really confusing for me. There was me happy, in a
loving two years relationship where we respected each other emotionally, talked
things through and were mutually exclusive in all things sex. We were very
responsible. We regularly used contraception. We knew all about the birds and
the bees yet there was these people telling me to expect to be having sex with
lots of girls. It is advice well forgotten.
Who was I kidding? Dreaming of only being with one girl
forever more, writing about how she inspired me to be me. Yes, naturally some
Miley lookalike would twerk it out on me up on a stage in some club, but it
went no further. Yes, some girl would walk by every now and again wearing some
see through outfit showing her underwear as I and my tiny friends, wearing no
socks, leant against a white wall doing some window shopping. I may have looked
but I only had eyes for one girl Mr Thicke, you married that one girl for you.
I can’t believe you did this Mr Thicke; sharing with the
world a tale of Blurred Lines inspired by the wife you still love. Don’t you
know that here in the UK we all prefer a one night stand, followed by waking up
alone with a blackened heart due to the feeling of being used. Mr Thicke, don’t
you know that over here in the UK we prefer to watch young couples bed hop from
casual relationship to casual relationship in Hollyoaks at 6:30pm. Don’t you
know that at 7:00pm we much prefer to watch a murderer sleep with two female
Dingles in Emmerdale. Don’t you know Mr Thicke, don’t you know!!
Anyway Mr Thicke I hope you and your wife stay happily married ever after, singing about sex like you do in all your albums. I have them all.
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