Blog 2
So as I said in Blog 1 for the
Curing Sunday blogs I shall be using this day for shameless self-promotions of
my book, The Cure. The links are to the right. However as I said here http://thecuretotheworld.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/the-curing-sunday.html
that I would provide insights to the plot, to the characters and to anything
else relevant to the book.
However, today I will tell you
about how The Cure came into being, how it came to life and how it came to be
born. It started 6 years before I had any idea about writing it at all; me at
18 and all loved up moved from all I knew to build a life with the significant
other a thousand miles away. All you need to know about this is that life was
good and life was great; what could be better than falling in love over and
over again each day?
Fast forward 6 years and the life
that was so amazing went up in a blistering ball of flames; my skin felt as if
it was burning as the gases within my body heated up until my insides exploded.
I was a complete mess. The person I used to know no longer, replaced by a lost
soul, a monster as I started to do things that I never wanted to do. I needed
to get out of the rut I found myself in.
To the bottle it was; hoping that
the constant blurred sight would have me waking up in the real world with all
this just being some awful nightmare. So I tried Jack, I tried Jim, I tried Gin
and all of their friends yet I could not drink her away. It turns out that none
of these remedial source producers of life have found the cure to heart break.
My friends told me to forget but
how was I supposed to do that? I do not suffer from amnesia. I did not want it
to be over. The pain was so much worse when sober, tossing and turning when I
reached out she was there no more. I know I had to end it that day in May, as
soon as I found out that for some time she did betray; leaving me in complete
dismay.
From that moment I knew I had to
end it. But what happened? Where did she go? When was enough, enough? When did
all our happy memories fade away? Five years building a home, weekend trips to
Rome and all the more yet when did she turn so cold? When did her heart start
to beat slower? Was it still beating at all? All of her plotting and scheming
whilst at the same time she had me believing. I bought a ring, thought we could
have everything. I never knew you could be so deceiving; she must have realised
she killed us, she must have realised she was committing murder.
At 24 years old we both had so
much more to do but instead overnight she became a stranger that I used to know.
I could feel me start to change. I buried us symbolically, threw the ring in
the sea and stood there watching the waves of the world crash down on top of
me. As we met in Jamaica I thought it was best to let the ocean to take us
away. I watched as it drifted away. I could not see it as it sank but still I
stayed a while and watched my life drift away.
It was my goodbye to us. The old
me forever gone, which is a shame because I really liked that guy. Now he is
just a reflection in a glass, even a famous singer could not bring him back. I
needed help, I needed a doctor, I needed a medicine but no hospital and no
pharmacy had the cure for me so I had to come with my own. It was time to be
grown. I started to write and write and a novel or two appeared. I had to think
of a title and I did my best to find a different one but nothing seemed more
appropriate than what stared me in the face.
The Cure; the death of the guy I
used to be and the birth of the guy I now am.
Ps. this blog was inspired by
Justin Timberlake’s new album. https://itunes.apple.com/gb/album/20-20-experience-2-2-deluxe/id672535058?affId=1930871&ign-mpt=uo%3D4
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